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Tag Archives: love

Maybe.  Maybe not.  Perhaps the world will end on Friday.  Perhaps it will simply be another winter solstice.  Doesn’t really matter to me.  I love my life and don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything I should have done if it’s all going to end on the 21st.  Then again, I won’t mind sticking around for a while longer if the apocalypse does not, in fact, decide to make an appearance.

Regardless of Mayan calendar accuracy or lack thereof, it feels heavy around me lately.  I seem to be hearing about a lot of deaths, and that started before the Connecticut school tragedy.  I have a good friend who called me last week and simply asked, through tears, if I could send him love because he was going through a rough time.  That same day, a potential client called saying she was at the end of her rope, and did I think maybe Rolfing could help when nothing else had?  People in my life who never get sick are coming down with the flu.  And I’ll be honest; I’m freaked out about the lack of precipitation we’ve had, even if I’ve been loving the sunny days.

In the end, it’s all okay.  Whether we all die on Friday or not, everybody dies, as painful as that is for the ones who are left behind.  Sometimes we need to go through rough times in order to realize what’s not working and what other possibilities might exist.  Sometimes we have to reach the end of our rope before we’ll try something that seems totally insane, but just might work.  Sometimes the flu has to come and remind us to slow down and not work so hard.  And sometimes there is drought in December in Colorado.  That’s just the way it works.  It may not be easy or comfortable, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.

I’m not trying to brag, but through all the heaviness of late, I’ve been feeling exceptionally good.  Not that I haven’t had a rough day here or there, but in general, I’m in a good place.  Which means I’ve been able to provide a calm harbor for some of the stormy stuff happening around me.  Yes, you can cry on my shoulder.  Yes, I’ll gladly give you a hug, and another one after that, if you want it.  Please, go ahead and tell me all about your hard day and I’ll make you some tea.  What a blessing to be able to provide that for others.  It’s been such a pleasure to be able to pour out love to people and situations that need it.  I know it’s cliché, but it’s true: the more love I pour out, the more I feel pouring down on me from the universe.

I know that you may be hurting right now.  Or you might be on top of the world and living the good life.  Either way, it’s okay.  I just want to ask that if you’re hurting, you ask for what you need, as scary and difficult as that might be.  I need a hug.  I need you to sit on the couch with me.  I need you to take me out and distract me from myself for a few hours.  Please don’t be afraid to ask for help, or love, or kindness, and to keep asking until you get what you need.

And I’m also asking that if you feel amazing, that you please be gentle with those who don’t.  Try to exercise a little patience, since you’re not in a hurry.  Try to be a little more sensitive, since you’re not feeling vulnerable.  Try to be kind, since you’re not feeling hurt or sad.  Because while breakdowns are natural and necessary, they’re not easy or fun.  We’ve all been in that place where things feel too difficult to manage.  So I’m asking that if you have gentleness and love to spare, that you spread them around.

It may be the end of the world as we know it, but I feel fine.  If the apocalypse happens on Friday, it’s been a pleasure knowing you.  I’m grateful for your presence in my life and I love you.  And if Armageddon doesn’t come, the same is still true and happy winter and enjoy your weekend!

Hey there, SassyPants, I’ve got a question for you.  When you have an injury, or a painful spot on your body, how do you talk to it?  When you sprain your knee, does the conversation go a little something like this?  “Stupid freakin’ knee.  Always gotta be hurting and twisting all funny-like.  Why can’t you just work right like other people’s knees?  Why can’t you just do what you’re supposed to?  Man, how long are you going to take to heal?  Does this mean I can’t play basketball on Wednesday?  Great.  Thanks a lot, you stupid knee, you.”

Or does the conversation go more like this?  “Oh, hey knee.  Well, you certainly got my attention.  Is there something you need?  Something you’ve been trying to tell me lately, that I haven’t been listening to?  Do you just want some time off?  Take a little break?  That’s cool.  You got it.  I love you, knee.  Let me know if you want some ice or gentle stretching or anything, okay?  You’re awesome.  Thanks for everything you do for me.  I know we’ll get through this just fine.”

I know my first instinct is to go the first route and be angry when I get hurt, or when something hurts.  But I think it makes a difference when we go the second route and send love towards the pain instead.  I can’t prove that it speeds the healing up.  But I know that whatever you think about all day trains your brain to keep thinking about that same thing.  It’s like when hundreds of people take the same shortcut across the grass in the park and pretty soon there’s a path worn through it.  From then on, it’s easier to take that path than to cut a new one through the grass, so you probably walk the path.  Your brain works like that.

If you spend your day thinking “my knee is so stupid and weak,” then your brain starts to believe your knee is stupid and weak.  So your knee behaves as if it’s stupid and weak.  But if you spend your day thinking “my knee is so healthy and strong,” then your brain starts to believe your knee is healthy and strong.  So your knee behaves as if it’s healthy and strong.  I don’t know about you, but “healthy and strong” sounds better than “stupid and weak” to me.

Now, I try to send my injuries love instead of hate.  Compassion and patience instead of frustration and anger.  So, SassyPants, what’s ailing you these days?  Wanna try sending it some love?

Please forgive me, SassyPants.  I know I wrote back in May about how I became a Rolfer.  In fact, I wrote so damn much about it, that it took up two posts.  And now, I’m telling the same old story, again, this time on video.  Really, if you already know, or don’t really care how I became a Rolfer, you don’t have to watch the video.  Not that I could make you if I tried.  But really, you don’t have to watch it.  I just get this question ALL the time.  And I love answering it.  So I answered it in a video to put up on my site.  And I loved the results.  So I’m sharing it with you.  And I say ‘and’ a lot.  Also, I say ‘so’ a lot.  So many things to beg forgiveness for.

If you have anything you’d rather hear about or questions you’d like answered, please let me know.  All the topics I considered writing about today bored me.  I’m asking you to be my inspiration.  Got anything good for me?

In the meantime, if you want, check out the video and let me know what you think.  Worth putting up on the site?

Oh!  And Demo Day is on Saturday.  Yes, this Saturday, the 15th.  Tell your friends.  Or your family members.  Or your neighbors.  Or nobody at all.  But if you want someone to come give me a try, this could be a good way for them to get a taste.  30 minute trial sessions for $10 each.  New clients only.  Have ‘em give me a call, or shoot me an email, if they want to schedule one.  Yay!  Demo Day!

This question came up three (yes, three!) times in one day in my practice and I found it odd.  So I started asking the same question of friends for the following few days.  Ready for the question?  Here it is:  On a scale of zero to one hundred, where would you say your heart is?  Let’s calibrate the scale, shall we?  Zero is drawbridge up, moat filled with alligators, and an armed gunman on every parapet.  Not to mention the reinforced concrete walls, the electrified barbed wire, and the cannons loaded and ready to fire.  Oh, and dragons; lots of dragons.  On the other end of the spectrum at one hundred, what we have is more open and welcoming than a puppy dog.  You’re more vulnerable and less protected than a baby.  You’re an overripe peach, without skin.  Anything and everything that wants to get in is getting in, and you’re not even going to raise a tiny baby fist in protest.

I hope that for all of us, this is a question where the answer changes hour to hour and day to day, based on the situation.  Obviously we’re not going to go argue about the cable bill with our hearts at 100.  And hopefully, when you hang out with your bestie or your favorite pet, your heart’s not in full-lockdown mode.  But, on average, say for the last week, where would you put your heart?  I don’t really care where it was when you were 3.  Or where you hope it will be when you’re 90.  Or if it wasn’t for that stupid ex-husband of yours, it would be at 70, but now it’s at 31.  Tell me where you’re at, right now, in this life you’re currently living.  Or better yet, tell yourself.  Are you on the open and vulnerable side with 50 or above?  Are you closed and protected with 49 or less?  Much more importantly, do you feel comfortable moving around on that scale?

Once, I read about a study which showed that a heart which oscillates between beating fast and beating slowly is healthier than a heart that stays at a constant, calm rate.  (If I could find that study for you now, I would link to it, but alas; my 92 seconds of googling came up with nothing; I got frustrated, and I decided to just write this post instead.)  This report I read made the point that while we typically assume it’s better to be calm and even keel all the time, this is just not true.  Getting all worked up, whether it be physically or emotionally, is actually better for your heart, as long as you also have periods of rest and relaxation where your heart rate comes back down.  Living this way allows your heart to learn a sort of flexibility so that the highs aren’t so shocking and exhausting when they happened.

I feel like this applies to pretty much everything.  I don’t like air conditioning because I want to be hot in the summer.  It’s summer!  This is when you’re supposed to be hot!  I like to work out super hard, then sit on the porch talking with friends for hours.  I tend to get carried away when I cook and I have to remind myself that just because you can put every single one of the spices in a meatloaf doesn’t mean you should.  And at the same time, I’m perfectly happy eating plain crackers for dinner.  Go to extremes, then find middle ground.

Same goes for your emotional, energetic heart.  Your life experiences and your current outlook have led you to whatever number you came up with regarding the openness of your heart.  No biggie.  No need to judge yourself, or flaunt your number.  No number is better than any other (except 9, which is just the coolest number on the planet, but not any extra cool for this exercise).  What’s more important is, can you move from that number, when it’s appropriate?  26 may be a super comfortable place for you right now.  Safe, but not on full-lockdown.  Guarded, but you’ve got a good reason for that.  However, when the love of your life appears, do you have the ability to open up a bit more?  Can you get to 54 so they can squeeze through the door?  And if 78 is where you normally hang out, do you know how to draw things in a bit, when necessary?  Can you hear criticism without it destroying your whole week?  Are your boundaries well defined and well protected, in case an ill-wishing marauder comes your way?

If so, hooray!  You’re like a heart olympian!  If not, what stretches can you do to increase your emotional flexibility?  Imagine scenarios where your heart moves towards the bigger numbers along the spectrum.  Picture your heart lowering the drawbridge, putting the dragons out to pasture, and taking off the suit of armor.  What have you been missing out on, that can now come in?  Now go towards the itty, bitty numbers, put that chain mail back on, and grab your sword.  What challenges can you meet face first, with your heart protected like this?

Going back to your original number; is that something you’re happy about?  Are you comfortable there?  Does that rating of openness serve you well?  Again, if so, then super-duper!  If not, now may be a good time to point your nose towards the end of the spectrum you’d like to be closer to.  One day at a time, one decimal point at a time, make an effort to get your heart to a number that better suits you.  And remember, while it might be scary, it’s probably not a bad idea to Love Love Love.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you!  I’ve said it before.  I’ll say it a million times.  I have the best clients in the world.  Really.  The Best.  And you’re one of them!  I am so, so, so grateful for the opportunity to know you and to work with you.  And, for the opportunity to rub it in my Rolfer friends’ faces that I have better clients than them.  Pretty grateful for that.  Not gonna lie.

The thing is, I love Rolfing and SourcePoint Therapy so much, that I’d be doing it on stray dogs in the street if I didn’t have any clients.   I do it because I love it.  Because I feel like I was made to do this work.  When I finally found this stuff, it was like the clouds parted, and the sun was streaming down, and the angels in heaven started singing and playing their cute little harps.  I just knew this was it.  It was the first time I’d ever thought I could do one thing for the rest of my life without getting bored.  And so far, so good.  I have no plans to retire.  Ever.  I never want to stop.  I do it for love, just like Sara Bareilles.

But it helps to have clients.  While Rolfing my own hands and feet and stray dogs is great (not really), I prefer to have clients to work with.  And being blessed with the most amazingest, awesomest clients in the world doesn’t hurt, either.  It’s just that I learn so much from you, every time we work together.  My understanding of this work, the human body, energy systems, emotions, and myself deepens with every session.  So thank you, thank you, for providing me with such a gift.  You truly are amazing.  One of my mentors in Rolfing school once said, “you don’t have to like your clients, but you do have to love them.”  And lucky me, I get to do both, without even trying!  You are wonderful!  And it’s such a joy, such a delight, to work with you.  I look forward to seeing you every time you come in!!  I get to wake up excited to go to “work,” if you can even call it that!

I love you.  Thanks for making that so easy to do.

 

Also, this:

Coloradans:
Demo Day (in Lafayette) is today!  And Demo Day (in Denver) is tomorrow!  Thank you, Colorado peeps, for all your help in getting the word out to make them successful!

Chicagoans:
The next appointments I have available in Chicago are on Tuesday, March 27th, and Monday through Wednesday, April 9th through 11th.  Let me know if you want one!